It is called hustling. I am busy looking for a stable job and doing any that comes my way, just to ensure that I can be able to meet my needs. I am a casual worker for some organization. I serve as one of their sales agent. We market its products around the country. I enjoy doing it, though that is not my ideal job. I am more interested in Research and Project management, more so on matters of Social justice and Human Rights. My friend Lina (not her real name) is also sailing in the same boat with me. She is a sales agent too. Her experiences are not always pretty with some clients!
Today, Lina was working in one of the buildings in Nairobi cbd. She walked in several offices with an intention of selling her products. She get to this one office, introduce herself to the person, then she followed it up with our normal sales speech. This guy sounded or act impressed and interested with the product. But then he gets another pick up line that makes her doubt his intentions. Initially, Lina had noticed him staring at her as she was moving from one office to another until she finally reached to where his office was. So he tells her that he has a better job than what she does and he is ready to offer her so long as she meet his qualifications. “Let me hear what he has to offer” she says to herself silently. So he tells her the details of the job in question and goes on mentioning how she will earn an attractive salary, allowances that she will have and also that she will be entitled to have a company car. How great does this sound to her ears. “Hahahaha… but does it come on a silver platter?” He then goes ahead and ask her if she is free in the evening so that he can schedule for an “interview” at that time…
I thought as our society ages (I mean we are in the 21st century) it will learn to treat women better and respectfully. But I am hugely disappointed because sadly in this era women are still massively disadvantaged. Just wondering where our society is headed to! (Oh wait a minute, I am also apart of the rotting society!!) So what’s wrong with us? The problem starts with ‘you and I’ or is it ‘me and you’ (whatever it is, you feel me). What are these problems women are still facing in this century?
As a woman, you are familiar with sex discrimination and sexual harassment, right? And if you are not, then you are either a lucky one, naïve (mostly likely has experience either but has no idea) or you are living in Amazon (we all know that mythical all-female island-Amazon). What I am trying to put across is that at one point in life, every woman has most likely experienced either sex discrimination or sexual harassment or both. This is how bad it is.
To make it crystal clear to anybody who might not be understanding the above vices: Sex discrimination exists when a person or group of people are treated unfavorably solelsy on the basis of their sex. In our country, sex discrimination is illegal, which includes discriminatory treatment related to firing, pay, job assignments, promotions, payoffs, training, and benefit. (But we all know better, don’t we?) Sexual harassment in the workplace on the other hand is described as, ‘ the unwelcome sexual advances, request for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of sexual nature that explicitly or implicitly affects an individual’s employment, unreasonable interference with an individual’s work performance, or creates an intimidated, hostile, or offensive work environment. (Who still thinks that she has never experienced any of these?)
More often than you might think, ladies who are job seekers suffer most. They are most of the times forced to tolerate the indecent and pathetic behavior of their potential employers, in the name of securing a job, sad! This may range from interviews at odd time or places (I mean who in his proper mind schedules an interview late in the evening or on a weekend at his home?!!!!), making direct sexual advancement (this is the most creepy of them), asking for sexual favors in order to merit a chance (yak! Disgusting) to frequently calling and messaging you asking you out for dates ‘innocently’ they say (I mean how stupid do they think we are!). At the end of the day you are exhausted, stressed or depressed, almost or regretting being a woman sometimes.
Don’t get it twisted folks, some breeds of ladies actually use sexual favors as a means of getting what they want even if no advances are made on them. (May God forgive as our trespasses, why would someone demean herself this way to the levels of a ‘dog’?). Some ladies fall into this trap maybe because they are too weak or they cannot persevere due to the challenges they face in life. No need to judge, but what are you depicting to your bosses! You are literally telling them that you don’t respect yourself and you are always available to be used sexually. With that said, you would most probably be abused throughout your work time in that place, and sadly you would not have a say.
The most hurtful of them all comes when your boss or senior workmate acts as a ‘friend.’ He earns your trust, you even consider him as a mentor but he is no different. He is a wolf dressed up in a sheep’s skin. Then you realize all this was to blind you from his dark intentions. It always ends up badly when you are confronted with the ugly truth. It’s important to take care of yourself, be in control of your life, and don’t let anyone press the buttons for you.
How many women are turned down just because they are women? That the tasks they seek are not for women. Makes me wonder, are women not competitive or is there something wrong with being a woman? Sadly, such mentality seems rooted so deep down in our culture that even we women sometimes find nothing wrong with it. In fact we might willingly reject job offers regarding them as masculine jobs, that’s how bad it is. As a woman, you have the right to pursue a career you like regardless of the nature of the job.
Which kind of a human being mocks or even dismiss a pregnant woman just because she is expectant? This is very sad, in fact I cannot stand the site of such a person. An Expectant lady is the most beautiful thing you can ever see and admire, she is giving life. She deserves tender care and loving, and above all, respect from everyone. Mistreating a lady just because she is pregnant at the workplace is not just very wrong but evil in its nature. The same applies to lactating mothers, they should be allowed to freely breastfeed their babies without fear of being judged.
We women as much as we are the victims here, it looks like we are also making the situation even worse. Why am I saying this? How many women do report sex discrimination or sexual harassment? My answer is very few, in fact a very small number! Most of the cases they opt just to tolerate the behavior (this is a very bad idea) or are afraid to act. By doing so, men get motivated in doing so, they will continue harassing with no fear. If this is to stop, we must stand up for ourselves and our rights. We must protect our dignity and demand to be treated with respect. But this can only be possible if we also treat ourselves with respect and dignity.
To those men out there who enjoy harassing women, my question is; would you like your mother, wife, sisters or daughters to be treated the same way that you treat other peoples’ mothers, wives, sisters and daughters? I am pretty sure you would expected them to be treated well. That will only be possible if you stand up for them, first by treating women better and second for standing for women’s rights. This is not only a women affair but men’s too. Men should be at the forefront in this fight because your daughters, wives, sisters and mothers depends on your action!!
belinenyangi'sdiscussion#oursociety# 
Thanks Beline for your sharing. Indeed be on the front line in fighting for the rights of women
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Sure. I will.
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Good stuff.
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Thank you
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